Sunday, February 15, 2009

Re: Getting away with it?

 Sounds like your hanging on .. Have you tried letting go?
Regards
              Steve Wolf

Recovery Advocate
swolf154@gmail.com


On Sat, Feb 14, 2009 at 11:42 PM, Mike D. <miked6027@gmail.com> wrote:

I have a little bit of sobriety and finally am trying to work the
program to its fullest. Real good sponser working the steps ( on step
one right now ). I work midnights and am all alone isolating in a big
plant. Nothing I can do about that. In the past I had multiple
relapses everytime the reasoning in my head was I could get away with
it. This disease is so cunning. Get away with what? A hangover and a
ton of guilt is all.

 On my way to work that stinking thinking came back. Wife is going to
be out with the kids all day tomorrow and would be easy to do the same
old thing. Get drunk at work slip in the morning say im tired and pass
out. Well I made it to work with no bottle. Amazing to me that I have
been reduced to these small little victories.

 Anyone ever have this kind of reasoning before. I know im getting
away with nothing but when that kind of thinking comes into my head it
makes great sense. Tonight I tried to think it through and feel what I
would feel in the morning the guild shame sickness. Called the wife
and said good night to the kids for a motivation I guess. Seemed to
work. I made it anyway.



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